CHAPTER 14 – ROLE REVERSAL
No matter what anyone tells you, there will never truly be a role reversal of parent and child. Parents deserve respect and should be treated with dignity. They are your parent with special considerations. They may require personal care similar to that of a small child such as dressing, feeding, bathing and changing a diaper. The difference is your role is not to prepare them for an autonomous future as you would a child but to ensure they are well taken care of to the best of your ability. Both you and your parent’s lives have changed. They are losing some of their independence and now need to rely on the children they raised. Be patient. Work continuously on communication. Be empathetic. Listen. Remember – both you and your parents are adjusting to the role reversal. As parents age, it is essential for future caretakers to discuss a plan of action with everyone involved prior to a parent’s illness. Discussing the uncomfortable topics now may avoid unfortunate consequences in the future. For example, what happens if dad becomes too ill to live independently? What if Mom wants to be cremated and some of the children object. Unless a loved one has dementia or severe mental illness, they should retain decision making power and play a crucial role in all discussions. Therefore, your caregiving may mimic some aspects of role reversal but not all.
No matter what anyone tells you, there will never truly be a role reversal of parent and child. Parents deserve respect and should be treated with dignity. They are your parent with special considerations. They may require personal care similar to that of a small child such as dressing, feeding, bathing and changing a diaper. The difference is your role is not to prepare them for an autonomous future as you would a child but to ensure they are well taken care of to the best of your ability. Both you and your parent’s lives have changed. They are losing some of their independence and now need to rely on the children they raised. Be patient. Work continuously on communication. Be empathetic. Listen. Remember – both you and your parents are adjusting to the role reversal. As parents age, it is essential for future caretakers to discuss a plan of action with everyone involved prior to a parent’s illness. Discussing the uncomfortable topics now may avoid unfortunate consequences in the future. For example, what happens if dad becomes too ill to live independently? What if Mom wants to be cremated and some of the children object. Unless a loved one has dementia or severe mental illness, they should retain decision making power and play a crucial role in all discussions. Therefore, your caregiving may mimic some aspects of role reversal but not all.